One of the most important ‘building blocks’ an aspiring Casanova needs to learn is how to flirt with women properly.
Flirting with women is a fantastic way to build attraction, because it changes the underlying dynamic from a non-sexual one to a sexual one, without being too direct or obvious.
When done well, flirting communicates all the right things – is says to the woman that you are confident, fun, intelligent, challenging and sexually aware – all of which sparks attraction.
The problem a lot of guys have when learning how to flirt with women is trying to remember a bunch of rules, techniques and steps to follow. Until you’ve had plenty of practice and have interacted with lots of women, it can all be a little bewildering.
So here’s what I usually recommend to guys who are just starting out…
Focus On An Overall ‘Frame’
Instead of trying to remember a hundred different lines, role-play routines or flirting techniques, focus instead on maintaining an overall mental ‘frame’.
A frame is a particular interpretation or perspective on what is going on around you. There are certain mental ‘frames’ you can use during interactions with women that will subconsciously make you flirt the right way, feel more confident, and maintain the right body language and voice tone.
As you get more practiced with this stuff, you’ll be able to focus on perfecting individual techniques, because all the basics will have become second nature. But if you’re just starting out, here are a couple of excellent frames you can use (by themselves, or in combination) as you’re learning how to flirt with women:
Frame 1: She’s Your Annoying Little Sister
The first frame is to treat the girl as if she was your annoying little sister.
Deep down you love her, but she’s a real pain in the ass too, always doing things that annoy you. You are reluctantly taking her along for the ride in whatever you’re doing, and will tease her constantly and tell her off for being bratty and annoying.
This frame is fun as hell, and is probably my favorite frame of all because it’s so playful.
Frame 2: She’s Screwing Up Her Chances With You
The second frame is this: You know she’s really into you, but she’s totally screwing up her chances with you by doing dumb stuff.
You can say things in a “mock-serious” tone, like:
“It would never work out between us.”
“Oh you just ruined your chances with me.”
“Oh no, I was just starting to like you before you said that!”
“That guy over there looks perfect for you.”
“I can tell we’re going to have a love/hate relationship.”
“You’re creepy!” (This one is particularly awesome, as women use “creepy” as a shaming word against men all the time..)
The key is to use this frame is to make it fun and playful. You don’t want it to be goofy, but you’re not dead serious about it either.
Using these frames has another hidden effect too. When the girl plays along with the joke, it makes her subconsciously qualify herself to you. Even though she’s not being 100% serious about it.
The underlying effect – even though on the surface it’s ‘all just a bit of fun’ – is nevertheless to subtly and subconsciously raise your status. You are a guy who must be worth the time and effort, not just another guy who is trying hard to win her affection like all the rest.
And raising your status is one of the major keys to attraction.
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