You probably know a couple of guys who seem to have been born fearless when it comes to talking to girls – and they probably have a lot of success with the ladies because of it.
But for most of us, confidence with women is something we have to build up over time.
For those of us who were not born ‘naturals’, there are really only two ways to build lasting confidence with women:
1. Work on your ‘Inner Game’: Over time, and with the careful use of both mental exercises and lifestyle changes, you can make a real difference in the way you feel about yourself and boost your internal confidence levels.
2. Experience success with women: Experiencing success with one women increases your confidence when interacting with the next one. Success breeds confidence, which in turn breeds more success.
But how do you get that cycle started when you have no confidence to begin with?
I mean, if you were already successful with women, you wouldn’t need to build your confidence, right? It’s a bit like the whole “need experience to get job, need job to get experience” cycle.
So what’s a guy supposed to do?
The answer is to use ‘Outer Game’ techniques to achieve small, short-term successes, which in turn kick-start an upward spiral of inner confidence.
Let me explain what I mean…
Inner Game & Outer Game
‘Inner Game’ is your beliefs, mindset and reality – the way you see yourself, women and the world. ‘Outer Game’ is the specific behaviors, techniques and actions that you implement in your interactions with women.
The relationship between the two components is an interesting one. Even the smoothest Outer Game in the world will not work in the longer term with a girl unless your Inner Game is strong, because the two things must be congruent.
If internally you are nervous and insecure (weak Inner Game), but outwardly you do things that make you appear confident and secure (strong Outer Game), girls will eventually figure this out. Yes, you’ll be able to fool them for a while – perhaps even long enough to sleep with them – but ultimately they’ll work out that it’s all an act, and that you’re not really the confident guy you seem.
But that’s just it: you only need SHORT-term success to get the ball rolling…
By achieving small, short-term successes through the use of ‘artificial’ Outer Game – e.g. using a ‘canned’ routine so that a girl finds you interesting enough to talk to for a few minutes – your Inner Game (confidence) will naturally start to build.
It doesn’t matter if the first few girls eventually spot that you’re not as secure and confident as your Outer Game would suggest. It doesn’t matter that the success you have with those first few girls is only very short-term. All that matters is that you made some progress – to give you a small amount of confidence to start building from.
In turn, this growing confidence means you naturally start to have better Outer Game, with less faking necessary. Which of course, leads to more success, and strengthens your Inner Game. This becomes a self-fulfilling cycle, until ultimately you end up with real, rock-solid confidence with women – and as many dates as you can handle.
The Key Is To Work On Both Parts Simultaneously
The key is to work on both your “Inner Game” and your “Outer Game” simultaneously. But the problem is that most guys are never taught the right way to do this.
Without a proper education in the ways of the dating world, most men go through life ‘hoping for the best’, and ‘trying to get lucky’. Or worse, they’ve been taught the wrong things – things that actually makes them LESS likely to succeed with women.
It’s essential to learn the right way to strengthen your Inner Game, and an effective set of Outer Game techniques that actually work.
Which is precisely why I put together the Attraction Playbook.
The Playbook is totally free, and is jam-packed with 70+ pages of Inner Game-building methods and Outer Game attraction tactics that you can start using today.
It’s time to stop ‘hoping and praying’, and start getting the girls you really want. So go ahead and download your copy now.
Just enter your details in the box at the top of this page and you’ll get instant access.
Happy hunting,
Ryan
