Building your inner confidence with girls is absolutely crucial when it comes to dating.
A confident man is already miles ahead of the competition – even if he’s not good looking, rich, tall or powerful.
This is not just because he’s more likely to approach girls, but more importantly because confidence is one of the strongest attraction triggers in women.
But how do you build that confidence? Obviously, gaining more experience with women naturally builds confidence over time. But there are other things you can do to help the process along…
Here are the four things you can start doing right now, to help build the ‘alpha male mindset’ you need to have real confidence with girls:
1. Make Women A PART Of Your World, Not The CENTER Of It
Firstly, you need to internalize the core belief that women are NOT the center of your world. Women should be an interesting, enjoyable PART of your life, but they should never be your entire focus.
Your focus should be on the other things in your life that you are passionate about – your career, making tons of money, conquering the world, playing in your band, saving starving children, whatever “your thing” is.
Be on your own path chasing your personal goals and passions, and see a woman as a great thing that can be a part of the experience. If she fits your requirements (attractive, stable, fun, compassionate – whatever you require in a girl) then she can come along for the ride.
When you do this, attraction to you happens automatically – because it displays independence, confidence and self-security. Plus it maintains mystery and intrigue, and pushes all the right psychological buttons.
But when any particular woman, or the desperate need to have a girlfriend, becomes the central focus of your life – the opposite happens. You display neediness, insecurity and a lack of independence. The more you obsess about a woman, or the need for a girlfriend, the less likely you are to get what you want.
In order to get it, you need to not need it in the first place. It’s counter-intuitive, but it’s true.
2. Adopt An Abundance Mentality
Most guys have a scarcity mentality when it comes to meeting women. They don’t believe there are many women who would be interested in them, so every interaction they DO have with a woman carries huge importance.
They think “I must not screw this up, because this girl is pretty and I may never get another chance to meet a girl like this again”.
The mindset of the alpha male – a confident, secure, attractive man – is that there is an endless stream of attractive girls out there who he can meet, so no particular one is that important.
And of course that is the truth. There really is an endless supply of attractive women out there – they are everywhere. Seriously, unless you live in a very small town, there is never a shortage of attractive women.
You just need to learn how to communicate with women properly, and know where to look for them. (I cover those topics extensively in the Attraction Playbook, which you can download for free – see the top of this page…)
There’s no need to care very much about the outcome of any particular interaction with any particular woman, because if it doesn’t go the way you want then you just move on to the next one.
And if each outcome doesn’t matter much, then you’re more relaxed and composed going into it… which in itself is very attractive.
3. Keep Your Options Open
When an inexperienced guy gets an indication of interest from a girl, he’ll usually shut down all thought of going after other women, and just focus all his energy on that one girl.
This is a bad idea, and is counter-productive for a number of reasons. It’s very important to have multiple options in your dating life, and to be continuing to go after new girls – right up until the point where you enter an exclusive relationship.
By having two, three, four different girls who you are in contact with / who you could potentially be dating, this raises your social value as perceived by women in general (which is a big boost to your attractiveness). And remember – if a girl you’re not yet exclusive with gets jealous that you seem to have options with other girls, this is a GOOD thing, not a bad thing!
Having options with more than one girl also takes the pressure of your interactions with each of them. By having other girls to call, you don’t worry so much about any one particular date going well.
This helps your confidence levels, and allows you to relax more. When you only have one woman to focus, you start to place too much importance on her, and you risk becoming needy and losing confidence.
4. Stop Taking Things Personally
Last but not least, don’t be discouraged because ONE particular girl did not respond to something. That doesn’t necessarily mean that what you did was wrong, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re ‘girls just don’t like you’.
Some girls will just be having a bad day. Some girls will have a boyfriend. Some girls will have just come out of a bad breakup and are not yet over it.
Stop taking things so personally – it’s probably not what you think, and it certainly isn’t helpful.
Part 3 of the Attraction Playbook is dedicated to showing you various ways to build your inner confidence with girls, so go ahead and download your *FREE* copy now.
The Playbook also contains 70+ pages of attraction tactics that you can start using right now to get the girls you really want.
It’s totally free, just enter your details in the box at the top of the page, and you’ll get instant access.
Happy hunting,
Ryan
